“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Children are NOT born knowing right from wrong—you MUST teach them and discipline them, this is for their benefit. But do it in love, not harshly, in an abusive way. “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
Love them and disciplining them shows this, but you must also BE there for them, and not your nanny! You be the parent. Yes, you have to work, but at home, YOU be the parent.
Bad things do happen, people use their free will given to us by God to the disadvantage of others, and God cries when that happens. He will talk to them and guide them to do or not do something, but it is up to all of us to heed and obey or ignore in rebellion and go our own way.
“The LORD will cause people to hear his majestic voice and will make them see his arm coming down with raging anger and consuming fire, with cloudburst, thunderstorm and hail.” (Isaiah 30:30)
Family time is also important, here are some things to remember and help taken from our new upcoming book: Marriage God’s Way.
Chapter 12: Family Time
Daily Life---Family time: this is an area that is just as important. You need to schedule in and make it a priority to spend time with your family. Make time to be there when your children need you. Be available to talk when they need it and give them your full attention. This means put the paper or your phone down and actively LISTEN. Above all, make family time to instruct your children about God and what faith is all about. “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.” (Genesis 18:19)
Be available to do things together because you cannot get this time back. Set boundaries and do not fudge on them. One time will lead to another and another and another.
“I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13)
Here are a few things to consider:
1. Make time! Make time during the week, sit at the dinner table together. It is a wonderful place to talk about the day. Make time for your extended family as well; moms, dads, brothers and sisters.
2. Prioritize your work and life issues around your family.
3. You need to set boundaries. If you planned on being at an event, that comes FIRST. Do not let work get in the way.
4. Leave NO regrets; once your children are older you cannot get that time back and they will more than likely have resentments.
5. Work is NOT more important than your family, especially when it comes to their baseball, soccer or football games and for girls, their recitals etc. “He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind, And the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.” (Proverbs 11:29)
6. Keep your promises; when you say you are going to be there, BE THERE.
7. Do trivial things with them, like helping them with their homework, ask them about their day, listen to their troubles. These may seem small to you, but your time with them is BIG.
8. Teach them right from wrong, don’t just discipline them, explain why and teach them according to the Bible. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
9. Take walks, go to the park, play ball and when they are small, tell them stories and read to them.
10. Schedule regular family outings and let them take part in choosing what and where to go.
11. Look for community events to do.
12. Go to church, become a part of it and take part in regular church activities and events. “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
“And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)
Do not be afraid to worship in front of your children, your children look up to you and they will imitate you. What image do you want to show them?
“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:14-21)
13. Have a family deep clean day in which the whole family takes part.
14. Start a hobby or project together.
15. Schedule an outing in which you help the less fortunate. This is a fantastic way to spend time together and it teaches them to have compassion on others in need instead of thinking bad about them and the way they look.
“A devout man and one who feared God with all his household, who gave alms generously to the people, and prayed to God always.” (Acts 10:2)
“The righteous considers the cause of the poor, But the wicked does not understand such knowledge.” (Proverbs 29:7)
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.”
(II Corinthians 1:3-5)
I am sure you have heard the saying, “The family that prays together, stays together? Well, it is so true, God is love and He is the one that binds your family together. “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” (Colossians 3:14)
“That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ.” (Colossians 2:2)
Keep God first, in your heart and in your marriage and in your family. He will keep you in peace and harmony and guide you through the tough times. He will teach you and instruct you in the way you should go. God will help you to build a family created in His love; which is everlasting.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain; unless the Lord protects the city, its watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for bread to eat—for He gives sleep to His beloved. Children are indeed a heritage from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. He will not be put to shame when he confronts the enemies at the gate.” (Psalm 127)